Winter is the sexiest time of the year: an effective and tested guide to layering
Surprisingly Uniqlo's HeatTech is part of the problem.
We’re layering our clothes all wrong for winter. And, of course, who has the time to spend hours researching "how to layer your clothes for winter" between maintaining a full-time job while entering the fourth year of a global pandemic, managing five crushes while married but separately dating the love of your life? (The “love of your life” isn’t necessarily who you’re married to.) Fortunately, it is my full-time job to do the research, and I am currently four crushes short, so I have all the time!
I wish it had occurred to me to write this sooner because winter is a sexy time for me. After all, I dress better, and layering is sexy. However, I have not always taken effective layering seriously, and my life is sedentary, so I have not prioritized the mechanics of staying warm while out. In my teens and early 20s, I barely wore a coat and stomped around (albeit miserably) in open-toed shoes and mini dresses, then opted for sockless clogs and mules paired with jeans once I grew tired of pretending I enjoyed clubbing. In my late 20s, I appreciated the creativity of layering and mixing colors and textures in cooler months. I will always appreciate a sexy little mini dress, fur coat, strappy heeled sandals, and gloves—a la Carrie Bradshaw. There’s also a balanced appreciation for layering my jeans with cashmere leggings.
Additionally, undressing in the winter to have sex teaches forbearance and delayed gratification. If you're still on the fence, consider this: Winter sex is superior because the sweat you work up adds to the eroticism of the act, as opposed to the repulsive sweatiness of sex in humid July midwestern heat. If you disagree, I can't help you.
After reading a tweet from a well-known fashion stylist about the limitations of winter fashion, it became my responsibility to bust the myth that winter dressing is void of creativity. Instead, I will teach you how to dress appropriately for the season without sacrificing warmth or style by teaching you the mechanics of layering. I won’t throw you to the wolves by expecting you to find these layers on your own, so I have included some of my favorite winter looks and modified them by swapping items out without sacrificing style. I invite you to enjoy and cherish the most delightful and sexiest time of the year!