It's not me, it's you (Me to every pair of jeans and trousers, except that one pair!)

Despairing, hope and embracing imperfections

I do not have a single pair of trousers that fit me exactly how I like, and this ensuing sadness has been recorded as the second Great Depression. I sound dramatic, which I usually am, but it's true.

I have cried a lot about not having the right pair of jeans and good-fitting trousers because what else am I supposed to wear? And, more importantly: How am I supposed to continue living? After having a child, I transitioned from mini leather skirts to trousers and jeans out of necessity, and begrudgingly, I am back to figuring out how to wear skirts and dresses again. In my first year as a mum, I collected many good pairs of vintage Levi's and many good tailored and casual trousers that I have sold, donated, or lost track of in my many moves. 

Before saying goodbye to my last and most beloved pair of vintage Levi's in 2018, I spent six months searching on eBay — usually at 2 a.m. because this was when I decided it was time to fix my life by looking for the perfect jeans. I didn't find a replacement in time, and they ultimately kicked the bucket, and I spent another eighteen months searching after laying them to rest from earthly labor. The final resting place was the trash. 

The pair in question is one I have shared here and on my IG many times, so I know you know which I am referring to. During my two-year search, I bought around 25 pairs on eBay that were never quite right, but I still kept a few to "make them work.” That only contributed to my despair. Here's what made this pair perfect: