Do boots deserve rights?
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After my letter “Considering A/W Wardrobe” I have not had a good night’s rest because my DMs and email have been plagued with very disgruntled boot wearers and I’m here to set the record straight. I did not know that a statement as simple as “I do not wear boots” would cause a month long meltdown. And so I’d like to expand on what I mean by “ I hate boots”. Make no mistake, I do not regret or plan on walking back on my statements, I said what I said and I stand ten toes behind them.
Let’s dive in.
I stopped wearing boots in 2017 and honestly from 2012-2017, I wasn’t really wearing boots. Maybe it’s living in the midwest and seeing so many suede booties or those two-tone Tory Burch riding boots that every person and their great aunt haven’t stopped wearing since 2011. Or maybe it’s the Chloé Susanna bootie, first launched in 2008 and called the Susan bootie, that every blogger wore to the ground and ruined 2013 for me? Or the Isabel Marant Blackson Bootie that made me reconsider the question, “Do humans really deserve rights?” Or the Jeffrey Campbell Litas?!?!?!? What were we going through in the 2010s? Or more presently, the fact that every shoe designer is making boots for western witches? ***coughs MIISTA*** Also absolutely no shade to witches.
Or the Balenciaga Ceinture that Youtubers were still unboxing in 2020? Or the devil clawed Balenciaga Harness Booties that the Olsen twins stomped around in in mid 2000s? Side Note: the Balenciaga Harness Bootie is the legacy of the Olsen twins and it is fascinating that they have rebranded with Hermès under Margiela 1999 aesthetic and we’re eating it up but I digress.
Let’s focus on the present but before we get into why I dislike boots, I need to say that there is never an occasion where booties like these are acceptable to wear. Now that we’ve gotten that out of the way, my biggest qualm with boots right now is the fact that we’ve forgotten that simplicity is a thing. Most of the boots being made right now are derivatives of derivatives of derivatives and frankly, I’m tired. I love a slight squared toed tall boot but lately, trying to find that is like trying to find Prince William’s hairline, both of which we left behind in the 90s/early 00s.
I feel like in 2011, shoe designers (and I use the word “designers” very loosely here) had a meeting to completely leave behind practicality, simplicity and comfort when it came to designing boots and things have aggressively gotten worse.
My second aversion to boots is definitely as a result of American women’s obsession with boots/booties and the likes. You’d think other shoes stopped existing with how committed American women have been to styling every outfit with a boot/bootie. Enter the tragedy that was Ariana Grande’s over the knee Stuart Weitzman suede boot era that just finally ended last year. I know she was singlehandedly funding the Stuart Weitzman brand with her obsession.
I also blame “What Not To Wear” for creating the obsession with the “goes with everything” item. As a stylist and someone who is committed to making sure we all dress better, I hope you trust me when I say there is no such thing as a garment or accessory that “goes with everything”. I can see the economical side of things for this argument, however, if you care about proportions and continuity when you dress, I am on my knees, begging you to please leave this notion that you can find one shoe that works with everything.
The “goes with everything” phenomena has ruined the wardrobes of many American women which is why they have so many good clothes with very little shoe options to make a complete outfit. If you take anything from this letter, it’s that I want you to think of dressing as everything including your hair, makeup, jewelry, clothing, shoes and other accessories. If one of these things I’ve mentioned is off, your outfit will not translate the way you want. and remember that the reason some of the best outfits you’ve seen work is because the person wearing it thought of everything.
Lastly, I cannot understand why shoe designers refuse to make tall boots for people with bigger calve muscles? I guess it is facetious to say that when we know that the fashion industry has always been about excluding people who do not fit into its standard of thinness. If you stop wearing boots after reading this, I hope it is in solidarity with those who have an impossible time finding boots that also fit around their calves.
Boots I’d consider…
I’d consider boots based on function. If I had to wear a mini or midi dress in the winter, I would consider wearing a tall boot to keep me from freezing to death. I’d consider wearing hiking boots to you know, go hiking. I’d also consider rain boots when it in fact raining.
I’d consider tall or mid calf low heeled boots over pleated skirts for autumn/spring/summer
And if you must wear stiletto heeled boots, consider recreating this out form Yves Saint Laurent Fall 2001
xx see you next week with outfits incorporating boots NOT booties.
This post made me smile during a shitty week!! Thank you. personally, i hate the sock boot trend or like those everlane glove boots that are woven fabric so this felt validating. I have always wanted to try tall boots but I'm afraid to because i am 5'3 and not super skinny. I feel as though they would make me look shorter.
the chloe and tory burch links were triggering.