5 Questions that lead to a functional wardrobe

As promised, below are my answers to the questions you submitted for “Questions that lead to a functional wardrobe.” If you have questions you need answered after reading previous newsletters or anything else, you can submit them here.

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I love costume dressing but these items usually take up more space and I only wear them a few times a year. My costume pieces are hard to replace items I find when I'm not looking for them. Since I don't have unlimited closet space, how should I limit my costume buys?

A rotating costume closet is the solution to this dilemma! (Of course you should limit your costume purchases simply because you do not have space.) If you have no space, keep your favorites and discard the rest by selling or giving them to someone who has space and will use them. Use the questionnaire in step 7 in my last newsletter on editing your wardrobe to guide paring down what you currently have. 

If you are fine with not having all your costumes visible in your closet and have storage elsewhere, decide which ones to keep out by considering how many costumes you wear a month or quarter and how much space you have in your closet. So if you wear costumes eight times every quarter, hang four costumes in your closet (if they will fit, if not store what will fit)—plan to repeat your costumes. For the rest, find space saving storage options. Plan to rotate your closet every quarter. This method might help you notice what you’re not reaching for and what to discard from infrequent use. See long term storage needs in the response below. 

Much of my family died (all grandparents, three parents dead, my MIL just passed) and I have become somewhat a repository/keeper of their things (many nice things! So not the burden of sentimental junk). Added to this, my aunt’s house just burned down in LA so I am really the final keeper. I’ve added some of these things to my wardrobe (grandma’s amazing clothes, a few of my grandad’s suits, my dad’s Hawaiian shirts and unfortunately someone stole my mom's clothes). Anyways, I also have two kids and have feelings about saving things for them. Of course, I have no idea what things of mine they’d be interested in at any stage of their lives, but I distinctly remember being upset with my mom for not keeping things from the 70s and early 80s. I am very interested in hearing from you (and others) about how to navigate sentimentality and grief, as well as the urge to have cool things to pass on to your kids, as part of the process of building a wardrobe. Also, any advice on how to turn large Hawaiian shirts into something wearable for a shorty. 

I fear that much of life is managing our sentimentality and deciding what to keep. I am still figuring this out. I realize I do not have nearly the same anxieties most people have about losing everything I own because I have lost and rebuilt so many times in my short life, so my answer here is mostly based on what I have heard or read from others. 

I’ve learned over the years that some things I did not find special enough to keep end up being the things I wished I had. So there is no foolproof way to know what to save. The solution isn’t keeping everything—it can be just as thrilling to conjure lost items from memory whenever we need for ourselves and to share the memory with others. It is also okay to save things because you have a sentimental attachment to them even if you don’t wear them all the time—don’t get rid of things you love too quickly.

But the situation is more complex when you are saving things for children whose interests and tastes will evolve as they age. Decide what you want to keep and be honest about your reasons and your feelings. How would it feel to expend energy and money preserving things your children don’t care to have in a decade or two? 

Once you have decided what you want to keep long-term, you need to consider how to store it. If they are not things you wear regularly, they will require different storage methods than your normal wardrobe. Storing clothes long term requires meticulous planning and regular check-ins. You cannot put something in storage once and forget about it. If you do, you might be surprised at its condition when you need it. Plan a yearly check-in for your things to make sure your methods work and to know what to tweak. 

If you decide to store things long term, here’s how:

For jewelry and important documents:

• Consider a fire safe box at home or a safe deposit box at your local bank or credit union.

For clothes or household linens:

If you don’t have space at home (like an attic or basement) to store things, consider a small storage unit. Before storing any clothes make sure they are properly cleaned to remove any sweat, oils, and dirt. Overtime sweat and oil on your clothes will leave permanent discoloration, and dirt attracts moths and unpleasant smells. 

• Foldable cotton and linen can be stored in vacuum sealed bags with desiccant sachets and cedar pouches. (The desiccant sachets absorb moisture and I hate mothballs because of the smell so I use cedar instead.) You can transfer the bags into large plastic containers for easy transportation and organization. To avoid major creasing, choose bags with thicker instead of thin plastic—the stiffer plastic will not wrinkle which reduces the likelihood of your clothes wrinkling. Some people have reported storing fabrics like this for up to eight years! 

• You cannot store leather in vacuum sealed bags or in airtight containers because leather is skin; it needs to breathe. Instead buy high-quality breathable garment bags and use cedar hangers. (Use coat hangers for outerwear to avoid the indentation regular garment hangers cause around the shoulders of your coats. You should use these hangers even when you are not storing your clothes long term. I use these. Do not use pant hangers with clips for leather bottoms because they leave permanent marks. Instead fold them and hang them over the bar at the bottom of regular hangers. You should professionally clean and condition your leather before putting them in garment bags. Condition your leather twice a year to keep them from drying out. Put desiccant pouches in the pockets and inside the bags. 

• TO PREVENT COLOR TRANSFER, DO NOT STORE LIGHT AND DARK COLORS TOGETHER.

• Properly clean silk, wool, and cashmere fabrics before storing. Do not use vacuum sealed bags, because the compression can cause permanent damage to these fibers. Also avoid storing them in plastic because it traps moisture which causes mildew and bugs. Instead, use breathable garment bags with soft fabric hangers or wrap them in acid free tissue paper, cedar pouches and desiccant sachets as well. 

For footwear:

• You must clean all the shoes you plan to store long term and condition them if they are leather—clean shoes last longer! Do not store leather shoes in airtight containers. Instead poke a few holes in stackable plastic containers and wrap the shoes individually in paper or buy dust bags if you don’t already have any. Include desiccant sachets in each dust bag and cedar pouches in the bins. 

You write to note what doesn't excite us (the underwear example). Can you unpack this further? What are we *actually* learning about a category that doesn't excite us? (For ex., I like bags, but I don't go crazy over them, and am happy to have a limited few I use over and over again. I'm not sure there is a lesson here?

The main reason to learn how you feel about categories that don’t excite you is to decide what to do about them. You might decide you’re content with not having exciting underwear which frees emotional energy to tackle the areas that cause dissonance in a more focused way. In your case, you’ve learned that you’re content with only a few bag options—that’s an important lesson in itself. Not everything in your wardrobe has to be exciting especially when they fulfill their function. Clarity is good even when you choose a passive approach. It’s the difference between pursuing personal style and reaching wardrobe clarity through building a functional wardrobe. 

How do you approach the question of pants sizing? Tops seem somewhat more forgiving to fluctuations in weight. Do you keep more than one size of jeans or pants?

Yes, I have four waist and rise measurements for my trousers. As you now know, the rise of your pants affects where they hit on your torso. I gain about two inches around my waist right before I bleed every month and at that time, I mostly prefer wearing the largest pants I own. I do not like elastic waist pants because they feel frumpy and most brands choose the cheapest elastic they can find so I avoid them in the winter (I have a handful I wear for warmer months). My preference is to wear oversized jeans and trousers that hang low on my waist. Some people prefer higher waist pants as they gain weight—decide your preference and make provisions within that.  

How do you tackle occasion clothing for lower key events that you still want to dress up for? Events like dates, birthdays. I have a great rotation of everyday clothes, but I think this has a lot to do with how much I get to practice dressing up for day to day life. Events leave me blind sided and scrambling. I don't even know where to start for these occasions, when so much of my mood boards and go to sources of inspiration emphasize every day dressing.

It depends on how you want to look and what you want to feel like when you have to dress for these events. If you are content with your casual looks but feel like you should dress up more, interrogate why. If you feel blind-sided because you wish you had something better, start by observing what others wear in these situations. Then think about which of these looks feel like a step up or two from what you own. This isn’t the time to try a whole new wardrobe—you want familiarity while experimenting because it will help you to understand how you want to look and then you can slowly build up your ideal special events wardrobe. This could look like buying a dressier shoe or a nicer coat, or getting a perfect haircut. In my newsletter on how to be inspired, I write about how to gather and evaluate new inspiration, as well as how to experiment.